April 14th, 1865. President Abraham Lincoln, tired after a long day of meetings (and after a long four years of war and strife) told his wife that he would rather not go to the theater that night. His wife encouraged him to stay home, but he replied that it had been reported that they would attend the production and he would hate to disappoint people.
Much like Paul Harvey, I enjoy "the rest of the story", but what I tend to wonder about is "the rest of the story" that never was. What if President Lincoln had stayed home that night, as he wanted to? John Wilkes Booth would not have had his opportunity, and (given the simultaneous attacks planned for Vice-President Johnson and Secretary of State Seward, one of which was at least somewhat successful) could very possibly have been arrested. With her husband still alive, Mary Todd Lincoln would perhaps not have given in to her demons (depression and paranoia, not to mention some physical burdens) and could have lived a happier, healthier life. And of course, Reconstruction under President Lincoln would have been a very different experience, maybe leading to better relations for the Northern and Southern states, and avoiding (among other things) the formation of such societies as the Ku Klux Klan.
It is not usually possible to know, in the moment, when small decisions are going to have enormous consequences. It is not even usually possible to know when small decisions are going to have small consequences. And yet I spend a fair portion of my life thinking, "If only I hadn't said..." or "I wish I had done..." (fill in the blank; trust me, I especially have a lot of things I wish I hadn't said!) What in my life would be different if I had only made a different choice, I will never know.
But I am the person I am today because of the decisions I have made. And although there are things I would do over, given the option, I am happy with that person. So what I choose today is to ignore the shadowy allure of what might have been.
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