Remember about a year ago, when I posted this, and in it mentioned the Titanic of a breakup I had and that I didn't know whether the guy was an utter moron or a complete jerk? Today I got some more information, and I STILL don't know. But to understand this properly, a bit of background.
The story is this: Guy (whom I am not, for reasons that baffle even me, going to call by name) was my best friend. We did lots of things together, spent lots of time together, to the point that everyone assumed we were dating. We'd talked about it a bit, but decided that we just didn't feel that way. Until I had two truly horrific almost-relationships with guys who were both utter morons and complete jerks-more on that another time-and suddenly my friend's strong dedication to the gospel and sweet temperament seemed a lot more appealing. And I found myself being interested. But I had promised after our thoroughly awkward should-we-or-shouldn't-we conversation that I wouldn't bring it up again.
So quite some time goes by, and through a series of circumstances, I found myself almost devoid of friends and living in a place I could barely stand to be in. So I spent pretty much all my time at work or his house, watching movies, cooking meals, helping him with a big project he had going, thinking he was seeing me the same way. And eventually my altered feelings come out, and he basically says no thanks. Which was hard. And not long after that he apparently decided that being friends didn't really matter to him either, and said no thanks to that as well. Which was harder. And then other things happened and I moved away without saying goodbye, partly because I was angry and hoping he would suffer from that and partly because I couldn't handle it.
About six months later, I had a funny thing happen that only he would be able to understand, and I thought, "What the heck-I'm over it, right? I've moved on. I'll just be a bigger person and text him and tell him. No big deal, no demands, not trying to have any kind of contact, just here's this funny story, huzzah." So I did. And in response got...
Nothing.
WELL. That was probably what I needed to kill any hope that we could ever be even civil again. So I did what you do-I blocked him on Facebook, got a new phone number, thought a bunch of ugly things and decided he didn't deserve any more space in my life. But I have a lot of memories of him, and at the very least it's inconvenient to force myself into other thoughts every time he pops into my head. I finally managed to accept them for what they were and got to the point where I could go several days without thinking of him-and where I didn't wince every time I did.
Then I came home from work and checked my email, and SURPRISE! "I'd like to add you to my professional network" on something I've never heard of called Linkedin. And it turns out I am still REALLY ANGRY, because my initial reaction to that was, "Yes, well, I'd like to jab you repeatedly with rusty forks." I mean, OF ALL THE NERVE. I'm now trying to decide on the best response, which I'm guessing is nothing; just delete it and move on. Possibly something polite...ish, like "No thank you. Please do not contact me again." Anything more involved/angry just lengthens the contact and reinforces his (admittedly valueless) opinion of me. After all, I really don't want to look petty and mean and like I've been holding hard to this grudge for over a year and a half.
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND. The guy tossed our friendship aside without so much as a "thanks for the memories" and I never got to tell him exactly what that did to me. So is this my chance? I don't know. I don't know why he sent it, I don't know what he expects and I don't know what I'm going to do in response. But I'd love some ideas.
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